Friends
Peace be with you
The British playwright John Marston wrote in 1610
True charity beginneth first at home,
Heere in your bosomes dwell your deere-lov’d hearts,
Feed them with joy; first crowne their appetites,
And then cast water on the care-scroch’d face,
Let your own longings first be satisfied,
All other pitty is but foolish pryde.
This appears to be the origin of the phrase “Charity begins at home. This phrase is meant to say that we need to be sure that we are looking after the people around us as much as we’re caring for those far away. We can’t ignore the poor, homeless and jobless people in Cedar Rapids and, instead, only care for the people of Ukraine. We shouldn’t ignore the annoying neighbor who is struggling to rebuild a house after a house fire while sending money to the poor people in California to help them rebuild their homes. In some ways, helping the neighbor is the bigger priority both because it’s easier to ignore them and because it would be rather selfish to not help an annoying neighbor because maybe someone not so annoying would move in if they moved out.
While hearing the story of the wedding feast of Cana, I’m struck by the strength of Mary. When she, Jesus, and some of his disciples were invited to a wedding, she went out of her way, when the wine ran out, to convince Jesus to perform his first miracle. How did Mary know that her son could do this? I suppose the easy answer is that a mother always knows. Parents know the hidden talents and potential of their children before anyone else. There are many men and women who have accomplished great things because their mothers and fathers believed in them even when the children didn’t believe in themselves.
Yet, this puts forth a second, related question for me: Do you think Mary always knew that Jesus was a miracle worker and yet never asked him to, say, multiply her loaves or turn her water into wine at the dinner table, or double her money to make ends meet? There’s no scriptural evidence to support that idea and the reluctance that Jesus shows at the wedding at Cana would seem to indicate that he didn’t. Yet, after the death of St. Joseph, how could a powerless widow have never asked her son to use his miraculous power to help her out when she was so quick to ask him to help others? Instead of believing that charity begins at home, for Jesus and Mary, charity begins at someone else’s wedding.
Think about Mary’s reaction to hearing that her cousin, Elizabeth, was pregnant. Despite being pregnant herself, Mary’s first thought is to travel in haste to the hill country to see her cousin. And we can see this in the example of Jesus in the desert too. After forty days of fasting, anyone would be hungry. Yet, when the devil suggested he turn some stones into bread for himself, Jesus declines. We know that later in the gospel Jesus will multiply five loaves and two fish for five thousand people, why not a half loaf for himself after such a long fast? What are Mary and Jesus telling us through these selfless charitable choices? That God’s gifts to individuals are not primarily for their or their families’ benefit but for the service of others.
For many people, the phrase charity begins at home means we take care of ourselves before we take care of others, that the money we give to the poor is what is above and beyond what we use to purchase what we want and need. First make sure you have the latest iphone and that really nice sweater and a visit to that really nice restaurant before making sure your neighbor has food and clothes and lodging. I think that’s why charity begins and ends in serving others in the mind and heart of Jesus and Mary.
How is the Holy Family encouraging you to forsake something you want or need in order to help someone in need?
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