Friends
Peace be with you.
Did you get a glimpse into other people’s family life that made you feel a little uncomfortable at Christmas? It often happens that, when we get together with people outside our nuclear family, we see parents struggling to discipline children and children testing their parents' patience. Maybe your parents or aunts or uncles are getting to an age where they are struggling to hear or are having memory issues and they aren’t quite the person you remember from your childhood which can cause some uncomfortable family dynamics and frustrations. Maybe it was your own family that had a mini explosion while family members were around.
Regardless, doesn’t it feel good to know you’re not alone? Even the Holy Family struggled to understand family dynamics when they went up to the Temple for the Feast of Passover. Now, it’s important to point out a few details. First, Luke is using this experience of going to the Temple, which would have been a common one for the Holy Family, as a framing device. Joseph, Mary, and Jesus would have gone to Jerusalem at least three times a year for the Feasts of Passover, Pentecost, and Tabernacles. Luke highlights this visit on the feast of Passover because that will also be the celebration taking place at the end of his gospel when Jesus is crucified. Notice, also, that it was a total of three days of separation from Jesus that Mary and Joseph endured. Three days without Jesus parallels with three days Mary will endure without Jesus at the crucifixion. Some people suggest that the source of the tension has to do with the fact that Jesus is Bar Mitzvah, he is now responsible for his own choices. Bar Mitzvah, however, is a status bestowed on a boy at his 13th birthday, not his 12th, and it tends to be sometime more modern than something that happened at the time of Jesus. The idea of children not having adult responsibilities is a very modern one, after all.
The tension definitely has to do with whom Jesus is going to consider his Father. Mary asks “Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.” Jesus responds “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” The tension is obvious, who Jesus considers his real Father. It should be pointed out that, by all accounts, Joseph was a good Dad. He worked hard as a laborer and provided a meager home for his wife and child. Jesus isn’t rebelling from an abusive relationship here. It’s just that he’s in his heavenly father’s house and that is a place he wants to stay in order to be close to one he loves.
It may feel like there’s a lack of resolution to this tension because all it says in the Gospel of St. Luke is that Jesus went home with Mary and Joseph and was obedient to them. That may sound like he just put up with the situation until he could go off to college but remember the root of the word obedient is to listen, just as he listened to his heavenly Father in the temple so he listens to his Mother and Foster Father in Nazareth. Further, it says that Mary kept these things in her heart. This is one of those passages that makes people wonder if St. Luke knew Mary personally and heard it from her. But, more importantly, there will come a time when Jesus is back in this same temple, as I alluded to, and his fidelity to the will of his heavenly Father will be tested. We’ll hear about that in a few weeks at the end of our Lenten journey. But, for now, we are invited to be like Mary and ponder the experiences she had of Jesus in our hearts. That’s something we can do as a family. We can find a time in the week and start with prayer, then read the gospel for the upcoming week, and spend time together talking about it, asking questions and sharing similar experiences. In the process, we may find we are developing a Holy Family of our own.
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