Birthdays

This Sunday was my birthday. In some ways it was a depressing birthday. I didn't receive very many cards, something that wouldn't never have happened in my previous assignments. And I didn't get to hang out with old friends as can happen surrounding birthdays. But, I couldn't help but be grateful to be assisting a great pastor in a great assignment. God bless the Cyclones. God bless this parish. And God bless the Archbishop for assigning me here.

This weekend we welcome the parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and all the relatives who have come for Iowa State’s family weekend. Thank you for coming to support your students who are just wrapping up a couple of intense weeks of testing in midterms. It seemed somehow fitting that the weather turned cold this past week. The students that, just a few short weeks ago, were walking around with a bounce in their step and a smile on their face have been walking around these last few weeks with eyes barely open and feet just sluggishly moving them in the direction of the next test or lab or presentation. Reality hit this week and it hit hard.

“On this mountain the LORD of hosts will provide for all peoples
a feast of rich food and choice wines, juicy, rich food and pure, choice wines. On this mountain he will destroy the veil that veils all peoples,
the web that is woven over all nations; he will destroy death forever.” This is the message our Lord gives to us in the first reading today, and it seems an especially poignant message as we gather together, not only because God has indeed called us to this spiritual banquet of the body of Christ, though indeed he has. But, God has done so something special in a special unique place. I mean, let’s be honest. When was the last time you were invited to a meal on a mountain?

The image of the mountain plays a unique role in this year’s gospel, the gospel of Matthew. It began when Jesus brought his followers to a mountain to hear the beatitudes. Later, he brought them up to the mount of transfiguration and, throughout this gospel, Jesus goes off to mountains to pray. The mountain in the gospel of Matthew is the place for a heavenly encounter with God. It is a sacramental experience of the highest kind wherein the divine and the human interact. God brings us to himself and transforms our hearts to be like his. It is on this mountain that we will feast with God.

If you are a student, you know the kind of preparation an event such as the one God has planned for us. In preparing for your family to visit you, you may have cleaned up your room, got homework done early, made reservations at a local restaurant, and done other such things so that your visit would be more pleasant. All of that work is in addition to all the tests, quizzes, projects, jobs, etc that you had to do for midterms. In some ways, the students whose parents couldn’t come may have had a better family weekend than those who could. However, you are all busy people. Wouldn’t it be great to have an opportunity to just sit back and relax?

That’s the best part about Christianity, though to be honest, we stole this from our Jewish brothers and sisters. We have a day built into our week where our entire goal is to take a break from our usual daily routine in order to focus on relationships. This is what Sunday is all about. Our culture doesn’t like to recognize the need for a Sabbath rest. Some Christians even think that Jesus took away our obligation to honor this sacred institution. Our beloved deceased Pope John Paul the second was aware of these developments and, so, he wrote an Apostolic letter called Dies Domini reminding the church of how important it is to honor the Lord’s Day. In this letter, John Paul wrote, “It is right, therefore, to claim, in the words of a fourth century author, that ‘the Lord's Day’ is ‘the lord of days’. Those who have received the grace of faith in the Risen Lord cannot fail to grasp the significance of this day of the week with the same deep emotion which led Saint Jerome to say: ‘Sunday is the day of the Resurrection, it is the day of Christians, it is our day’. For Christians, Sunday is ‘the fundamental feastday’, established not only to mark the succession of time but to reveal time's deeper meaning.”

So, our mountain is not necessarily a place, but a day and by saying that Sunday is the day that reveals time’s deeper meaning, our Holy Father was reminding us of the profound truth that, in our busy lives, we cannot lose sight of our relationships to the human family or to our God. When we do so, we lose a sense of the meaning of time and it becomes an arbitrary annoyance instead of being the gift that God has given to us in order to come to know him and love him through his Son and his church.

It is the hope of Fr. Ev and all the staff here at St. Thomas that you will come to see in this building, this church, the heart of this message. We hope that you will see in this place the message of the mountain that God calls you from the busy-ness of your life to the peace of his kingdom. He invites all to this banquet knowing that not all will respond. What prevents you from taking your Sabbath rest?

A Blessed Antioch

One college retreat that catholic dioceses have developed is called Antioch. The name is taken from the town in Greece where the early believers in Christ took on the name "Christian". I've done a few Antiochs in the past at Loras and, as both a student and priest, I've been happy with what took place there. But, this past weekend, I had a paradigm shift. I did Antioch at St. Thomas Aquinas in Ames.

In theory, the two programs came from the same parent program. However, there was a lot of difference between the two. What impressed me most was the notion of growth in the christian faith that takes a lifetime to complete. Salvation is not something that just happens to the exclusion of an individual. Instead, we must live our whole lives in order to enter the kingdom of God. These college students defintely understood that we aren't just "saved" and done. Instead, each day we choose wheather we want to lead the life of Christ or not.

Da Vinci Code

At some point in the not too distant future, Hollywood is going to release one of the most evil, anti-christian films ever made. It's based on the equally evil anti-christian book "DaVinci Code" which maintains that the person who reached out to the world in love and selflessly gave his life for its salvation couldn't have lived 33 years without having sex. It's amazing that this "impossibility" has never been a concern for the world in the first 2000 years since Jesus' death. Thank goodness that Dan Brown figured it all out. How foolish for Christians to have loved Christ for 2000 years without knowing that his kids are still on earth.

Yet, we Christians, and especially Catholics, shouldn't be surprised at Anti-Christian bias in the media. Dogma, the movie, made a mockery of the notion of good works. Stigmata, the movie, made a mockery of sainthood and personal holiness. Several televisions shows have jumped on the priesthood sexual abuse crisis such that, when a priest appears on a sitcom, you can guarantee that he sexually abused someone. They have found a way to make five percent of the priestly population the majority!

So, where is the mockery of Jews and Jewish belief?

And why is Hollywood not going to make a movie mocking Islam?
http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Movies/09/29/leisure.brooks.reut/index.html

So, I think this is the last straw for me. I'm asking myself some key questions. When was the last time I learned something by watching TV? When was the the last time I watched an entertaining movie that wasn't morally reprehensible? When was the last time either of these media helped my relationship to God or other people? And, with my answers to these questions, I'm afraid that it's time that I start to refer to these devices as what they are...occaisions of sin.

Is Jesus Kind?

I have no problem admitting that Jesus death on the cross was the ultimate sign of love. There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for a friend, to paraphrase St. Paul. But, is being loving the same thing as being kind? I think this is one of the greatest sources of confusion in two areas.

The first is our understanding of God. God doesn't need to be nice to us. The fact that heaven is open to us is kindness enough.

The second is our understanding of religion. We need to show love to one another. We need to reach out to those who are suffering to bring some kind of goodness out of that evil. And I do think kindness is a virtue. But, is a lack of kindness really a sin? It's possible that, since so much of culture publicizes and repeats every negative thing about the church and puts us in the worst light possible, that we need to be beyond reproach. I think some would say that's a valid statement. But, I think we need to stand up for principles. I do think that we need to speak out for life. I think we need to stand up for the sanctity of marriage. I think we need to say that not all catholic priests are pedophiles and that we're tired of that depiction. We need to say that a country that is as rich as the United States needs to reach out to the poor. We need to ask if the war in Iraq had anything to do with the war on terror and ask if the policy on "pre-emptive war" hurts or helps the understanding of just war theory. We can't be afraid to speak out on things ask long as we are doing so in love. But, I think it weakens us to try and form every sentence so that they won't offend anyone.

Not in Kansas....

After a small break, I'm back.

No big problems. Just a lot of workin' with the Lord.

This weekend's reading was, basically, that some people hear the word of God, reject, and end up doing it while others hear it, agree to it, and then never do it.

I talked about how God's word comes to us through the bishops and are responsibility, as catholics, is to listen, trust, and do; not listen, criticize and make it up on our own. At least, I think that was my point.

In any case, I was approached after mass by someone who was upset by my point because the person thought the point of the reading is that religious leaders are stupid and we should just do it ourselves. I found myself becoming angry and then I realized something. This person has probably been schooled in (my term) seditionist theology. By that term, I just mean a kind of personalist view that says bishops and priests are more of a problem than an asset. I think this is an unintended consequence of the (post?) Vatican II realization that priests (and bishops) are fallible. The media bias that all priests are pedophiles has only reinforced this understanding.

And, since I coordinate a group of men who are discerning the possibility of becoming a priest, it's good to know that this bias is out there. I recognize that I need to educate people what priesthood is all about and, perhaps, what it is not.

Please pray for Misty

My coworker had an incredible tragedy happen for her the other day. Two of her friends (who were both seminarians) died in a terrible car accident. Please keep her and the family of the students in your prayers.

A bright light in a dark world

Today is a day of celebration here at Iowa State. Yesterday’s victory over Iowa was awesome, incredible. As someone who sat through the Jim Criner and Jim Waldon eras of football coaching, a time when you were ashamed to admit that you were a Cyclone fan, it is incredible to see the University of Iowa bring a number four rated team into our Jack Trice stadium and get trounced. It’s a good day to celebrate.

Yet, our celebration is mingled with a couple of other realities this weekend. The first is that today is September 11, 2005, exactly four years after one of the most tragic events in American History. We remember that four years ago, people came to this country and killed thousands of working Americans. Up until a couple of weeks ago, I would have said that this was THE worst tragedy in contemporary American history, yet in looking at all the pictures coming out of New Orleans and the other gulf areas, it’s easy to see that this is another tragedy just as bad if not worse than 9/11. And, this time, we can’t retaliate against enemies. We can’t bring the fight to anyone.

I was pondering these two realities as I reflected on this passage of scripture and I realized something that I hadn’t seen before. If you have ever studied our gospel, you probably know that this is a parallel parable. In other words, two similar events take place with a different outcome. The tragic thing that I think has happened is that we’ve neglected the “surprise” that Jesus listeners would have had. So, let’s set it up and see if I can explain the surprise. There’s a servant who, roughly, owes his master the equivalent to the national debt of the United States. Now, there is no way that he could repay the debt so he says, “Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full”. The master is so moved with compassion that he, not only, doesn’t throw him, his wife, children, and possessions in jail but, instead, forgives the debt.

The servant leaves and encounters a fellow servant who is in debt to him about a hundred days wages. When this other servant uses the same words that he just used, “Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full”, there is not pity in the forgiven servant’s voice. He throws his fellow servant in jail and, by all appearances, the money suddenly shows up. The surprising thing, then, is what happens next. When the servant is called in front of the master, the prudent thing the master would have done would have been to demand the hundred days wages for himself. I mean, wouldn’t that make sense? By throwing the servant who is incredibly deep in debt in jail, the master wouldn’t have been able to be repaid at all. It’s better that the servant work and slowly repay the debt over time by, for example, collecting on the debts that others had to him.

The problem and the surprise is that the master didn’t expect, no, didn’t want the servant to repay the loan. He had completely forgiven it and expected this servant to have a sense of gratitude for that forgiveness. That’s the appropriate way to behave when we are treated kindly. We should want behave just as kindly to those around us.

The problem is that it’s so easy to forget the tremendous kindness that God has been to us. There is so much darkness and despair in our world that we can follow our culture’s attitude of tit-for-tat. Our culture tells us that we should be nice to people who are nice to us. We should give forgiveness to those who forgive us. We should give to those who give us something. This is the attitude of many politicians and advertisers, you pat my back and I’ll pat yours.

As Christians, we are called to a more hopeful life than this. God loves us and so we must love others, especially those who don’t love us back. God has forgiven us so we must forgive those who harm us. God has given his life to us to us and so we must give back it back. We must be a beacon of hope in what is oftentimes a dark world.

One institution within our church that is just such a beacon is Catholic Charities. If you don’t know anything about catholic charities, they are an organization of people that are, oftentimes, the first people on the ground after tragedies happen with supplies for those effected and a willingness to be the presence of Christ to people who are in awful circumstances. Last year, the archdiocese of Dubuque gave over a half million dollars to victims of the tsunami. In the entryway of church, you can find an envelope labeled “special collection”. You can also put money in the second collection that will take place at the end of mass and make out a check to Catholic Charities with the word “hurricane” in the memo. In this simple action, we show the hope that sees through tragedy to the ultimate victory over tragedy, Jesus Christ.

anamnesis

Ordinarilly, I try to update my blog on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and twice on the weekend. I don't always succeed but that is my goal. However, since Tuesday, I keep starting what I think is a good idea and then having to abandon it in the middle and not remembering what I was writing when I can get it done later. Memory is a huge issue in my family. I imagine that part of this is normal but, ever since my grandmother developed dimensia similar to alzheimers and basically spent the last fifteen years of her life in a nursing home bed unable to recognize anyone, we are all afraid of what it means to forget things. For me, the thought of forgetting so many great experiences I've had with friends and family is a part of growing older that is not positive.

Several times in the bible, both old and new testaments, the people of God are told to remember something. The Israelites were told to remember the covenant they made with God and keep the commandments of God. The apostles were told to celebrate the eucharist "in remembrance" of Christ. Memory has an important part to play in religion. and, in particular, with our relationship to God. One of the ways we remember this is what is called an examination of conscience. By this I mean a prayer before falling asleep where we take time to recall the experiences we had that day to see those places where God was present and where we couldn't feel the presence of God. It is amazing that, in those remembrances, we find how close our God has been to us.

Duc in Altum

I've been thinking about the phrase "throw out into the deep" from the gospel of Luke (today's gospel) which is translated into latin as "duc in altum". This was the phrase the John Paul II used to initiate a reflection on vocations last March, though it wasn't the first time that he used that phrase. Two things come to mind when I read John Paul II about this. The first is that "throw out into the deep" involves taking a chance. The disciples had been burned the night before. They had tried and failed to catch fish. Now they are tired and frustrated and, if it were me, the last thing I would want to do is go fishing. But, they are willing to take a chance because they trust Jesus. That willingness, despite having already cleaned up their nets, paid off for a whole night of bad fishing. But, in this act of fishing, they can see a foreshadowing of what they will soon be doing full time...catching people (lit. "fishing for men"). Many people have jobs that don't seem to have any affect on the kingdom of God. How might God be using those types of jobs to prepare you for ministry?

an analogy

All analogies have areas of similarity and dissimilarity so bear with this.

Yesterday morning, I went to the dentist. It had been a year and a half or better since I had gone and I had broken off part of one of my molars so it was time. I sat in the chair and had x-rays taken of the one that had broken off and the dentist starting numbing the area around the bad tooth. Then, he started looking around and found two other teeth that he was fairly certain would need to have fillings replaced. So, I went back today to get them done and get the cleaning that was long over due. In the middle of it, he found two other teeth that needed to have their fillings replaced. I'll go back a week from Thursday to get them done and, hopefully, be finished with fillings for a while.

But, it did prompt me to reflect on the idea of reconciliation. Most catholics in today's world simultaneously say that they don't need to go to confession and that the church instills a sense of guilt. Confession is like that visit to the dentist that I should have done a year ago. It clears out all the things you need to be guilty about so that you can go on with your life. Otherwise, you bring all this baggage along with you and the result is guilt. And, while it's true that you only need to go to confession once a year, it's just as true that we probably need to go more often than that. It's definitely something that feels worse before we do it. I always feel better when I leave than when I start.

So, find a good dentist and get your teeth cleaned and a good priest and get your soul done too.

Living the passionate life

This weekend was a big one for the mass at St. Thomas. We spent time introducing the staff members. Then we handed out time and talent forms so that parishioners could get involved. That meant that mass started about five minutes later than usual which means I kept my homily short.

So, I talked about having conviction. In this world, there are an awful lot of people, myself included, who tend to be dispassionate about their faith. The challenge of christians is that, in being tolerant of other people's free will, we can't lose the passion we feel about the faith. We also can't become so focused on one issue that we miss out on the breath of God's will. God has given us the church so that we can get behind all that he wants from us.

Holy Thursday!!!

Up at 5:30 so that I could be on the road at 6:30. That was how my morning began. I started out in St. Paul after seeing an absolutely morally reprehensible play last night and spending the night in the home of a good priest friend. I drove for my priestly support group meeting in a small town named Grundy Center, Iowa. We supported one another and then I went home to Marshalltown for supper, something that would never have happened a couple of months ago (can you believe I've been in Ames for over a month now?). Mom's string beans are the greatest in the world and it's always good to see my Dad and brother, Dave. I got back in my truck and headed back to Ames for what will probably be my favorite experience in this assignment. I had an earlier posting about Wednesday Night Liturgy during this summer. Now that the students, we do it on Thursdays and do it later on in the evening, 10:00. What an awesome experience! The students just gave me so much energy. They are the church...discovering what that means.

Now I'm trying to wind down a little so that I can sleep and get ready for a lot of work tomorrow. That's what I get for screwing around two days in a row.

The images of the pope

This past weekend, I found myself reflecting on the images that go along with the pope. I talked about the chair, the catedra, and how the bishop's chair is a visible symbol of his authority. I talked about how every catholic church has a chair in the front for the priest that connects him back to that chair that the bishop sat in when he was ordained. That chair should remind the priest that he is nothing without his bishop...humility.

I also talked about the keys. The keys were mentioned in the readings this weekend. Peter was given them. I talked about how, in modern times, we tend to see in this a hand over of power to Peter, as though it's his job to determine what the church believes. However, the first reading warned that the keys could get taken away and given to someone else. The Pope's job is not to tell God what he believes but to do what God wants and proclaim that truth to the world. He is to protect the truth that has been handed on to us and keep out anything that is evil.

minimalists and maximalists

In the past couple of years, I've become annoyed by the terms "liberal" and "conservative". Masking them under the titles "progressive" and "traditional" doesn't help either. The members of the church are far too multifacated to put into two categories. That's why I'd like to further add some clarity by introducing two new distinctions that aren't really typical conservative or liberal. The terms I'm using to understand people are maximalists and minimalists. Now, bear in mind, these are not meant to be all encompassing/villify the other group/High School football terms. These are meant to help members of the body of Christ understand differences in some attitudes. They presume that people have an earnest desire to remain faithful to church teachings.

The difference between the two begins with their outlook. A maximalist asks "What more can I do to be part of the church?" A minimalst asks, "What do I have to do to be part of the church." Beginning with these differences in questions explains why one priest wears just an alb and stole and another priest wears amice, alb, cincture, stole, chausable and, during the big celebrations, cassock. But, these differences are not just limited to priests. I think all people ask these questions, which is where religion both thrives and becomes ugly. And, I think most people vary between being a minimalst for one issue and being a maximalst for others.

This helps me when I'm talking to people about the church to find out the way they are approaching an issue. So, for instance, some people think that people need to go to confession every month, if not every week. These people are maximalists. Others struggle to go once a year. They are minimalsts.

Of course, another key is to keep in mind that this is just supposed to offer another category to help us understand people. Ultimately, people's rationale for being a minimalst or maximalist will vary. So, even though it's okay to understand what a person thinks in order to understand where they are coming from, the most important question to ask is why they believe.

Our State Fair is a great state fair....

Ah, the smell of warm fried foods coupled with the slight scent of animal dung...does it get any better than that? That was what I did yesterday. I visited our wonderful state fair. Some people go to the state fair to ride the rides. Why not go to an amusement park? Most people go to eat their favorite state fair particular food - deep fried snickers bars, twinkies, or the infamous corn dog. Then they go to Iowa Methodist Medical center for bypass surgery. I go to the state fair to see the animals. That's what the fair is supposed to be about. It has been overrun by commercialism with people trying to sell everything from mops to siding to colleges. But, in the barns, it is still the fair as it is supposed to be. I saw the biggest boar, the biggest bull, and a milking demonstration. I saw two 4H shows, one involving shetland ponies and another involving milking cows. It was great to see a kid that was half the size of a cow leading her around a show ring without any fear. The highlight of the day, however, was when my grandparents' (mom's parents) farm became a "Century Farm". It was nice to stand on stage and represent the next generation of Schott family reaping the benefits of the earth from this parcel of land that has been doing so for a hundred years. And, it was good to see Aunts and Uncle gather together for something other than a funeral.

Putting limits on God’s love

Oftentimes, when I hear this gospel passage, I hear it referred to as the story of the Canaanite woman, which makes sense considering that one of the people involved is a Canaanite woman. The other, since it is a gospel story, is Jesus. Usually, that’s where our consideration of this story ends. We have Jesus talking to a Canaanite woman sounding, at times, pretty harsh, which has always seemed very contrary to the way I’ve imagined Jesus approaching those who have faith in him. So, I’d like to suggest a change in focus for this parable, a third character, if you will, who played a prominent role. It is, oftentimes, overlooked that Jesus is surrounded by and talks to his disciples throughout this story. And, in fact, I think that the disciples are the real ones who learn an important thing or two from today’s gospel.

I’m a Cubs fan. I have a friend who is also a Cubs fan. I remember talking with him a couple of months ago about how this is yet another rebuilding year. That makes 55 years in a row that the Cubs have been trying to rebuild a World Series team. He said that he was watching them one day and that they beat their opponent by eight or nine runs and then lost by two or three the next day. His theory was that they should have stored up some of their runs from the one day in order to win the next, as though the Cubs were the moral equivalent to Grimm fairty tale about the grasshopper who spent all summer singing instead of storing food and went starving to the ants for food during the winter.

I think there is a part of us that thinks in a similar way about God’s love. We say that we know God’s love is all-powerful and all encompassing but then we tend to put limits on it. After all, if God’s love is all-powerful and limitless then that means that we can’t put limits on our own love. That was what the disciples were doing in the gospel today. When the woman comes professing faith in Jesus, they want him to chase her off. This isn’t the only time they will want Jesus to get rid of people who cry out to him in need but it is the first time that Jesus gives in. I don’t think Jesus really wants for this woman to be sent away. I think he wants the disciples to face their biases, to face those times when they exclude people simply because they would rather believe they are outside of God’s love than within it.

So, Jesus communicates to the woman what the disciples would have him do, like a teenager giving into peer pressure. The difference, though, is that Jesus knows that this woman will stand up to him. Any desperate mother who thinks that a cure is possible for her child will be willing to be called names if it means having a healthy child. Because of her humility, her faith, and her love, her daughter is cured and she can walk back and, with her daughter, grow in the faith that was given to her.

The disciples, on the other hand, are left in a bit of a lurch. They have to face their own prejudices and deal with them. In this lesson, Jesus teaches them that racism and discrimination are the seeds of evil, not the way that leads to everlasting life.

This message will need to be quickly learned and implemented by the disciples. After Jesus death, the disciples leave Jerusalem and Israel and go to other countries to spread the gospel. They begin with what is comfortable. They first go to the synagogue if there was one in town. But, they would inevitably find the gentile audience more open to the saving message of Jesus. They find a common longing for meaning in these new believers, a longing that finds expression in Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection and allows these people who were not descendants of Abraham to be grafted onto his vine. This all happened because they learned to not let fear of differences drive them away from spreading the gospel.

That is the message the disciples learned and, perhaps, we disciples need to learn it as well. How do we treat people of other races, gender, political persuasion, theological understanding…? Do we let them go their way and we’ll go our own or do we try to get to know them and love them as Jesus loves us?

Living with contradictions...

As a young priest, I think I have a pretty good sense of what the church asks for liturgy, perhaps better than those who were educated ten or twenty years ago. And, as a result of my more contemporary education, I feel it my responsibilty to gently bring "creative liturgical reform" back in line with the church. One great example of this is pouring from the pitcher to the cups. The vatican has clarified that they would like us to do this before the eucharistic prayer and consecration. Since that clarification came out, most priests have bristled at this change. Some refrain out of theological reasons. They want to do it at the fraction rite so that it is the fullest symbol of Christ's body being broken for us and Christ's blood being poured out. Others who are suspicious of authority think that it is Rome's attempt to return to only distributing in one form only.

My reaction was to think of how it could be done and do it. It didn't take any imagination whatsoever and most people appreciate the change. No having to do one thing when the bishop isn't present and changing when the bishop is. No stubbornly ruffling my feathers at the thought of the Vatican telling me how to celebrate mass. Just make the change in as organic a way as possible.

So, I tend to be an advocate of doing what the books tell us to do and doing it well. Yet, in the middle of distributing holy communion, I became annoyed with myself. I have added something to the mass. Most priests do this and I have a good reason for doing it, but I have nonetheless added something. If people bring children to mass who cannot receive communion, I will give them a blessing. I do it because it recognizes the child who is present rather than pretending the child is not there or important and I do it because I think it is important to acknowledge children at mass. In an era in which each priest is a sexual abuser and each child a potential victim, I think it's imporant that I visibly interract with children in a loving way that makes it clear that I'm not a sexual abuser. I bless them. And, just as important, I look at these children as gifts. They are the next generation of faithful catholics to carry on the message of Jesus.

But the church doesn't say that I should distribute communion and bless children. It just says I distribute communion. Now, I have to decide if the absence of a rubric means tacit disapproval.

A God who gets disappointed with us

Last week, I kept reflecting on the image of an angry God. I know that probably seems silly to reflect on that. It doesn't square with the common picture of Jesus laughing with his head tilted back, eyes closed and mouth wide open as though someone had just told a golfing joke (or maybe that one about not finding a lawyer in heaven). The difficult thing, though, is that scripture sometimes seems to hint at God being mad. And I'm not just talking about the Old Testament. Think of the God who won't let the rich man repent of his sins despite coming to the realization that he has not lived a life of holiness by seeing Lazarus in heaven.
I kept thinking about how hurtful family can be to one another. I had two friends, very close friends that are more like family to me than friends, who exchanged exceptionally mean emails. One of our friends was worried that it would ruin our friendship. I told them that I thought it pointed to how strong our friendship was. The emails, though exceptionally mean, were really honest. One person stated very plainly some concerns she had about the choices another was making. This helped me understand God's anger a little better. God gets angry our of love. Those biblical images of God taking vengance out on other people show how much he cares about us. He cares enough to be disappointed in us when we do stupid things.

God works in this world to convert it

As I was reflecting on this reading, I couldn't help but be drawn to two interconnected conclusions. In the Twin Cities, there's a parish of 5000 families. Most priests in the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis recognize it as a reality and even a good. When I talk to priests about that parish in this diocese, most of them say that it's too big. They have an idea that two thousand families is the largest parish they can comprehend. Then, we turn to our gospel today and realize that our Lord had five thousand parishioners relatively early on in his career and he was able to work miracles with those folks. It should give us hope.

I also couldn't help but reflect on the change in interpretation that has happened with this particular passage. Ten or fifteen years ago, there appeared a novel interpretation for it, an interpretation I like to call "potluck supper" . The general way this bit of isogesis works is to say that, when the disciples found this little boy (mentioned in other gospels) with his five loaves and two fish who was willing to share his food, suddenly others in the crowd were willing to share what they had as well until they had left-overs. The implication of this interpretation is definitely true; most of us have more than we need and are unwilling to share what we have with others.

But, despite the fact that, in general, I think this is a good social message, it is not what our readings today intend to convey. It is tantamount to what Benjamin Franklin did with the Bible when he removed all that he felt was miraculous. I think there are other passages that make us reflect on the value of charity in putting God first and stuff second. The real message our gospel is inviting us to reflect on is entirely different and may be described by the following story.

There once was a little boy named Billy. Billy was a very quiet and shy little boy who liked to hide behind his mother's leg when company came over. One day at his Catholic school, Billy's teacher asked his class for a volunteer to read at mass the next week. Billy made his eyes drop to the ground to avoid the teachers gaze and did whatever else he could to not look like he had any interest whatsoever. But, the teacher was quite wise. She called Billy's name to get his attention and then asked him to read. Billy, being a quiet and shy little boy, knew he couldn't say no to his teacher regardless of how much he wanted to. So, when he got home, he turned to his mother to ask if she would write him a note excusing him from reading. Billy's Mom, however, was also wise. She told him that she wouldn't write the note but would, instead, help him to prepare and even take time off from work to come to mass. So, Billy had no choice but to turn to his Dad. However, Billy's Dad and Mom worked like a team so, when Billy asked, dad, who had been warned by Mom that Billy would probably try this, also told Billy that he would help him practice and would take time off from work to come to mass. So, when the day of mass arrived, Billy didn't have any excuse. His mom, dad, and teacher had all helped him to prepare and made sure he'd be ready. Billy stepped up to the microphone, hoping that the kids wouldn't laugh at him too loudly. Then, the amazing happened. Billy not only read the reading well, he was perfect. He didn't pop any "p's" and read slowly and clearly in order to convey the meaning.

Billy might not have known that he had been given the gift to proclaim the word, but he had and others could see it in him. That is, oftentimes, the way that spiritual gifts work, whether they are gifts like reading of the word of God, the gift of faith, or a vocation. They aren't merited. In other words you can't earn them. God gives them to us freely in order to build up the kingdom. And, oftentimes, we don't recognize the gifts that God has given to us. Certainly, the disciples didn't realize the gift that they had in Jesus or they wouldn't have tried to send the crowds away to get food. They would have just asked Jesus to give them food instead.

What is needed, instead, is a bit of initiative on our part to recognize the gifts that have been given to us. That why Jesus started out with five loaves and two fish in the first, because he works with us to save us. We need to be open to recognize the gifts that have been given to us and not run away from them. I see this many times in the area of vocations to priesthood, diaconante, and religious life. I have met so many men and women who have incredible gifts for ministry who seem to turn away from priesthood and religious life out of fear of loneliness. I always find this to be an ironic response when I think about how many times in a day that I want to get away from people for a while because I've been talking to so many. Plus, I've met an awful lot of people who say they don't feel like they have enough time for the studies surrounding becoming a deacong even though they are already involved in a million things in church that they could give up in order to be a deacon and give other people the oppertunity to do the things they were doing.

Now, you may be wondering what the connection was between the parish of 5000 families and the idea of vocation. When we see something we believe to be a problem, there are a number of ways to deal with it. We can either worry and fret about it and do what we can to turn away from it, like the disciples wanted to do in the gospel or we can see in the problem an opportunity for growth in the gifts that God has given to us. Where is God calling you to grow in the gifts he has given to you?