catharsis

After what was (arguably) the worst week I've had as a priest, I looked down at the dead body of my friend in a casket and found peace. I've never lost a friend as close as Fr. Bob and it really turned my life upside down for a week or more. I was angry, not at God or the church or doctors, more at circumstances. I was angry that I didn't get to visit him when he was in the hospital. I was angry that Bob died in the first place.

But I had to set that aside when I got to say goodbye. Fr. Bob's classmate, Fr. Dave Schatz, did one of the best priest funeral homilies I've heard. And it helped a lot to have a visit with my spiritual director right after the funeral.

Fr. Bob never looked at me or treated me like I was some know nothing plebe barely able to know how to use the big boy potty. He treated me like a brother, a friend. We'd joke about the difference in ages but, ultimately, there was no arrogance, no snobbishness. There was nothing but respect and I will always respect him for that.

Reactions to Protestants and Orthodox

I'm from Iowa and I like to think of myself as a prototypical Iowan. I love my state. And, to quote the music man, "...We're so by (gosh) stubborn we could stand touchin' noses for a week at a time and never see eye to eye...but we'll give you our shirt and our back to go with it if your crops should happen to die." Yep. That's me. I'm definitely at least partially the a product of the environment in which I have been raised.

I think that's why I have a tremendously different reaction to Protestants than I do the Orthodox. Most of the time, when Protestants criticize the church, it raises my hackles. I immediately want to defend the church from attack. I immediately think that there can be no truth to their accusations. I'm sure it comes down to personal bias since I've been attacked by Protestants ever since I left Catholic grade school. The crusades were taught to me in Middle School as the corrupt Roman Catholic Church trying to take over the lands of some peaceful Arab shepherds who rose up against the evil Roman Church despite overwhelming odds against them. Of course, none of that is really true but my EXTREMELY biased teacher never took the time to get into the complexities of history because that would be a violation of church/state separation. From there, I was told by evangelical protestants that I'm not a real Christian, that the church eats babies, that priests and nuns have sex and eat those babies at the eucharist, that catholic priests are either all gay or all pedophiles, that catholics blindly follow whatever the pope says...and on and on. Lies, all of them. Thankfully, I've also met some very friendly Lutherans and Methodists along the way that have helped repair some of the damage but my instinct, sadly, is always and likely will always be DEFEND THE POPE! Fight the Protestant!

The other day, however, I heard an Orthodox priest criticizing the Roman Catholic decision from two years ago to move the Annunciation because it fell on Good Friday. I listened patiently and thought, "You know, maybe he's right. Maybe we shouldn't have done that." A reaction which tends to be pretty typical when I hear a member of one of the Orthodox Churches criticizing Roman Catholicism. Why would I have such a different reaction to them? As I said at the beginning, I wonder if it's because I'm from Iowa where a member of the orthodox is about as rare of a species as you can get. Or if it's because I tend to view the Orthodox as actually caring about continuity. History is important. They are in this world but not of it. Orthodox priests still wear these beautiful garments and seek to stand out from a crowd by what they wear. Most Catholic priests have spent the last twenty years trying to figure out if they can look more like their protestant counterparts and get away with it. We wear suits all the time and mock priests that make the decision to wear cassocks, the clerical shirt is something you wear for more formal events otherwise you should wear "business casual", and the key is to get people to call you by your first name no longer "Father". Orthodox lay people even have a sense of distinction. They love their liturgy and their traditions...both of which go back hundreds of years if not longer.

Ultimately I think what plagues me is that I know that Christ wants us to be united, to be one as he is one with the Father and Holy Spirit. But I see us continually growing farther and farther away from the Protestants in such things as married clergy, women clergy, gay and lesbian clergy, true presence, etc. The Orthodox, despite being separated from them for 1200 years, are not going to give in to culture like many protestant groups have done. I just hope that my vision isn't clouded simply because I don't live in Greece or the Ukraine.

Entering into Lent

As you can probably tell by my last post, these last couple of weeks have been really tough for me. I don't want to go into specifics about everything but one important piece is that my friend passed away. Fr. Bob Davies, a good and faithful priest of the Archdiocese of Dubuque and my friend passed away on the day of the Lord's resurrection, last Sunday. Bob helped me in my frist year of seminary by forcing me out of my room, away from my books, and toward books stores. He was one of three guys that I drew on when studies became wearisome and I started to feel overwhelmed, I could always count on Bob Davies to talk it out.

And, we both had a subscription to the Guthrie Theater in the Twin Cities and would travel up to see plays four or five times a year. At first, our brother Fr. Andrew Lawrence, would with us. But then he went full-time active duty as a military chaplain so that meant that Fr. Bob and I would go together. The good thing was that Fr. Bob always kept the conversation going.

I miss him a lot already and know that his funeral on Friday will be quite difficult. Please pray for the repose of his soul and pray for me too.

a few late night reflections

I've been praying a lot about this parable recently. It's not one of Jesus' parables but, I believe, it's a preparation for it. In case you don't know about the story of David and Bathsheba from 2 Samuel 11, David basically stole another man's wife, got her pregnant, and then killed him by sending him to war. It's a little more involved than that but that will get you by. When Nathan, the prophet, is appointed to tell David that he knows what he did, Nathan uses this parable to trap David into convicting himself....

12:1 The LORD sent Nathan to David, and when he came to him, he said: "Judge this case for me! In a certain town there were two men, one rich, the other poor. 2 The rich man had flocks and herds in great numbers. 3 But the poor man had nothing at all except one little ewe lamb that he had bought. He nourished her, and she grew up with him and his children. She shared the little food he had and drank from his cup and slept in his bosom. She was like a daughter to him. 4 Now, the rich man received a visitor, but he would not take from his own flocks and herds to prepare a meal for the wayfarer who had come to him. Instead he took the poor man's ewe lamb and made a meal of it for his visitor." 5 David grew very angry with that man and said to Nathan: "As the LORD lives, the man who has done this merits death! 6 He shall restore the ewe lamb fourfold because he has done this and has had no pity." 7 Then Nathan said to David: "You are the man!"

I've been thinking about it for several reasons, but especially how often the (so called) liberals in the church proclaim that they want to get rid of the "power of the priesthood". They seek "collaboration". They want to have a "conversation" and encourage "dialogue" And then, when they get that collaboration, they are the biggest tyrants of all. They not only get to rule their own houses but they want to rule of the house of God, turning theology and ministry into something that everyone but the priest can do. They seek to take the service that the priest offers and turn it into power they can wield over people. And it's most frustrating that they claim they demand conversation and dialogue while they themselves often make unilateral decisions.

Priests in this generation

The role priests play for the church is incredibly dynamic and one that I'm constantly trying to figure out. In the early church, the presbyterate was probably a group of intelligentsia advising the bishop to ensure that the church did not get off track. It's my understanding that the bishop would not have initially been chosen from among the priests but among the deacons. I have always assumed that meant that the priests were supposed to stay in the background while the bishop put his life on the line making as close to public statements as an illegal organization can make.

Of course, when the church expanded, it became clear that priests were needed to be more than advisers to the bishop. They needed to be shepherds to small parts of the larger area the bishop led. The bishop turned into a rarely seen (though often prayed for) overseer while the priest was to be on the seen, directly involved.

What I find ironic is that parishes are somewhat being set up in this same pattern in the US. Priests are often "in charge" of large staffs who are to be in more direct contact with the people. They buffer the pastor in some ways who is seen as too busy to meet with people. Other than Sunday liturgy, the pastor is not really expected to come to most meetings or being free to talk with someone who walks in off the street. And, with the number of priests decreasing at a higher rate than the number of parishes, it could be that a "lay leader of prayer" is present at almost every Sunday Celebration (in the absence of a priest) while the priest bounces between as many as ten or twelve different parishes over the course of a month.

Some have said that this means we need to change priesthood to better fit current circumstances. I tend, instead, to think that we may need to ask, from a theological point of view, what do priests need to be for their people. Should the priest merely be an empowerer of other staff members, an overseer like the bishop ended up becoming or does the priest need to be more "in charge"? Is there a point when a diocese should feel justified in telling a parish that they cannot staff them with a priest and so they cannot remain open? If so, what characteristics define when that needs to take place? Is there any precedence for normalizing regular Sunday Celebrations in the Absence of a Priest? What effect does that have on a community?

I raise these questions without answers because I feel like they are bigger than my opinions allow for. They deserve some serious reflection, though.

whoever does the will of my heavenly father

The gospel for today is taken from the gospel of Mark 3:31-35. Catholics often have to defend the charge that this directly points to Jesus "brothers and sisters", thus the perpetual virginity of Mary can't be true since Jesus had brothers and sisters. Over and over again, catholic scholars have pointed out the fluidity of those terms, the tradition that these are actually Jesus' cousins, and (my own personal belief) that these were likely children by Joseph's former marriages. Of course, both sides miss the larger point that this is supposed to be the beginning of people abandoning Jesus, even the 12, at his crucifixion.

What I find fascinating is that Catholics have not pointed out something else that should put Protestants on the defense. Jesus says that in order to be his mother, brother, and sister, we must "DO the will of God". This is an active verb. It's far from the sola fides of Luther. This is much closer to the notion of James, "Show me your faith and I'll show you my works."

Please keep in your prayers...

A good priest friend is battling for his life even as I type these words. Fr. Bob Davies was found Friday in his rectory unconscious. They transported him to two different hospitals and the doctors at the second one which are used to dealing with more critical cases believe it isn't quite the simple diabetic coma he had about a year ago. It seems as though Fr. Bob had a stroke that sent him into this. I haven't heard anything for about a day so please keep this good priest in your prayers.

Feast Day

I've had a strange couple of days. On Thursday, I had a funeral at the funeral home. On Friday, I had a wedding rehearsal in Marshalltown, Iowa and Saturday we had the wedding. Thankfully, our deacon agreed to take the homily for the weekend and he did a great job. He talked about being called in the context of St. Thomas Aquinas. If you've never heard it, St. Thomas was originally supposed to be a Benedictine because (ironically) it was considered more prestigious than the order he ended up joining, the Dominicans. But, he went with where he felt God called him. Deacon Paul then invited people to reflect on their own call. What is the call you feel God is given you.

update

Here in Iowa, we are having our first typical Iowa winter in years. That might be an exaggeration but we haven't been above freezing in weeks and we've consistently had snow on the ground since Thanksgiving. We probably should have seen it coming since most forecasters predicted that this would be a mild winter with very little snow but it has basically been snowing for the last three days straight and it looks as though we will get a break tomorrow and then another storm moves in for Friday.

On the one hand, it should mean that students are spending a good amount of time studying but I'm finding that it's hard to concentrate since you really can't even go outside. Tonight it's supposed to be -9 with -20 wind chills. I suppose we are all preparing for Lent in this time and getting ready to give things up, even the freedom to be able to move and be outside. I'll use the time to pray for those who have no shelter from this terrible weather.

I wonder if Texas needs priests...

John the baptist and my first case of swearing in a homily

I was telling a story about a student who I thought was trying to know more about priests in general but who was, instead, trying to figure out if I was straight or gay. When I discovered it, I wanted to say to the kid, "That's none of your business" and that's what I had intended on saying in my homily on Sunday but, instead, I said, "That's none of your DAMN business."

That was enough to throw of the rest of my homily. I meant to talk about how John the Baptist's life led people to think he was weird but that allowed him to have a sense of perspective to talk from both outside and inside, as both a Jew and someone who was more than just a normal Jew, more holy than most of the Jews of his time. I intended on talking about how priesthood is partly about giving order to the holy, holy orders. And why priesthood is so important today and needs to be something we talk about with our kids. Unfortunately, I was so thrown off that I sort of muttered something about how priesthood is important and tapped danced around priesthood not being a sad or lonely life. All in all, it was not my best celbration of the eucharist.

An atypical feminism conversation

I sat in out student lounge yesterday talking to three women who are students at Iowa State about a topic that you wouldn't necessarily expect: why women should be proud to be Catholic.

It all started when I noticed three women students sitting in the student lounge. I went over to say hello and one them asked if I knew anything about Edith Stein/Teresa Benedicta of the Cross. I told her I didn't and she said she thought we should get a group of people together to study her life and writings. She said that there are several people at "the University" (a term that I've learned is what you say when you don't particularly like something about Iowa State) who say the church is anti-woman and we have no response. I agreed and said that we should study the great women saints throughout history, like Felicity and Perpetua, all the Theresas, and others. I also couldn't think of the woman who convinced the Pope to move the papacy back from Avignon, France to Rome and one of them knew it was Catherine of Sienna. One of my favorite statements came from a woman who said she sat next to a male sociologist on a plane ride and the man couldn't understand how a woman could be involved in the church. Her response was that she feels like the church is the only entity that gets her. The church tells her she has dignity and that she is called by name and a child of God and that she is different from man but not less important. I was proud that one of my students would know that the church isn't the evil women oppressing agent that we are often alleged to be. She felt the call of Christ who loved women differently but equally to men.

Also read one of my student's blog

One of my students whose really become a good friend is named Steve Sanda. Steve is in Rome this semester and here's his link. Go check out what he has because he will have a ton of pictures of really cool things.

http://sandainroma.blogspot.com/

Baptism of the Lord

Dearly Beloved in Christ

There’s a song made popular by a woman named Shari Lewis along with her friend, lamb chop, that goes “This is the song that doesn’t end, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that doesn’t end, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...” and, by now, that’s sort of how I feel about the Christmas season in the church. I start to feel like I’m singing the song that doesn’t end. Stores have long ago put their discounted ornaments and villages in the back of their storage areas for next year, our left over wrapping paper and tags are put away in some closet, and our Christmas tree is probably sitting in some recycling area along with a million others. The church is the only entity that still believes the Christmas Season isn’t done and, by the looks of our tree, we are even starting to feel a little bit dry. But there’s one more thing that deserves reflection before we move onto the Ordinary Time.

Today we celebrate the feast of the Baptism of the Lord, which doesn’t seem to have much to do with the season of Christmas from outset. I mean, there’s a contemporary connection with babies and baptism. Most of the baptisms we do are for infants, which is partly why our baptismal font has that rectangular raised part along the side, so that we can immerse the babies just like we do adults. (In fact, here shortly, Fr. Ev will show you what that means and I invite all of you, during the baptism, to leave your pews and come closer to see what happens during that ceremony.) But, Jesus wasn’t a baby when he was baptized, he was probably somewhere in his late twenties or early thirties when it happened. And, unlike almost every baptism that I have when I immerse a baby in the font, the first noise that is heard after baptism isn’t the noise of a baby screaming, it’s a voice that seems to continue the Epiphany of last week, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.”

There’s a very interesting interaction that happens before the baptism that is, I believe, the heart of why this is a fitting conclusion to the Christmas Season. One of the seeming contradictions that the early church had to deal with was that it maintained the Jesus was born without sin and never committed sin during his life. They would say Jesus was “One like us in all things but sin.” But, it was also well known that Jesus ministry began after he had been baptized by John in the Jordan, a baptism that was known to be for the forgiveness of sin. So why would someone who was without sin need a baptism that was for the forgiveness of sin? According to the gospel, it was “to fulfill all righteousness.” In other words, Jesus didn’t come as a mere observer of the human condition, he came to be fully human. To use slightly crass language, Jesus didn’t come to be a wall flower, he came to dance.

This is important for several reasons, not the least of which is that, by becoming human and fully entering into our life, he transformed our potential so that we may enter into his life. In a sense, by God becoming human, he showed us humans a glimpse of what it means to be God. The first reading described this as God's justice. The second as God's impartiality. The Eastern Orthodox have the term deification, literally that by entering into the church we become like God. This isn’t meant in a sacrilegious way in that we can somehow have the power of God or the wisdom and understanding of God. That’s the sin of our first parents. Adam and Eve sought to be gods. As Christians, we need something to remove all our human imperfections, all things that stop us from loving God and loving neighbor, in order to become like God. Christmas would have been meaningless for us had God not shown us how we participate in it, which is what baptism is supposed to be. Just as the Eucharist is our entrance into the eternal life offered at Easter, so Baptism is our entrance into the divinity of Christ, our ability to know and appreciate that the tiny infant none of us got to see in the manger, is truly God-with-us, prince of peace. This is the salvation that cannot end. God with us so that we can be with God.

universal not unitarian

I wonder if the new heresy will be a confusion of the idea of "catholic". Some people think that it means the church is open to all new movements, that we don't close ourselves off to things. Yet, throughout the history of the church, this is a common theme. From Basil and Tertulian battling early heresies to Gregory the Great's attempt to unite the church under himself, to St. Thomas Aquinas infamous "you have heard it said...but I say" style of Socratic method, the church has had to distance herself from incorrect ideas in order to cleave more closely to Christ.

The Unitarian community in this country will take anyone regardless of what they believe. We are universal, not because you can believe whatever you want or because the church should be open to everything but because we need to communicate Christ to all the world.

The pope on the family

The Pope's Holy Family Angelus address is great. You can find it here and my favorite quote is...

"For this, parents have the right and fundamental obligation to educate their children, in the faith and in the values that dignify human existence. It is worth it to work for the family and marriage because it is worth it to work for the human being, the most valuable being created by God.

I direct myself in a special way to the children, so that they love and pray for their parents and brothers and sisters; to the young people, so that stimulated by the love of their parents, they follow with generosity their own vocation to marriage, the priesthood or religious life; to the elderly and the sick, so that they find the help and understanding they need. And to you, beloved spouses, count on the grace of God always, so that your love will be always more and more fruitful and faithful."

The Nativity Story

I decided that, since today is the end of the Octave of Christmas, I would watch the movie with the above title and I have to admit it's not bad. I had a few problems with it but nothing huge. The filmakers had to fill in some of the details of Mary and Joseph's pre-scripture life and they did so the best they could. I even feel like they left open the possibility for Mary's perpetual virginity. I especially loved how they wove traditional Christmas carols into the score. Most of the time people probably didn't even know they were there. It's tough to blend Matthew and Luke's infancy narrative because there does appear to be contradictions. But, they did a good job of trying to present an understandable story with some drama.

The astrologer/wise men were really good. The growth in the relationship between Mary and Joseph was strong, although I would have preferred an older Joseph. And I still think that Joseph had children by a previous marriage but I will only know that for sure when we meet in heaven. I just think it's really interesting to see how Protestants view Mary because the movie is basically all about her and Joseph. What a perfect way to finish off the octave and celebrate the solemnity of Mary, Mother of God.

Mary, Mother of God and mother of the church

I love preaching about Mary mother of the church on this day that we devote to Mary's oldest title: theotokos in Greek, Mater Dei in Latin, Mother of God in English. I know it's still being worked out theologically but I always like to think that Mary's yes is our yes, her willingness to give birth to the Son of God is the first of us to say yes to God. She may not have given birth to all of us but she gave birth to our faith to the extent that she gave birth to Christ. And, even though she is just like a good Jewish mother who always wants to put her son before herself, this does not diminish her important contribution.

...and a happy new year

What a wild week the octave of Christmas is. We just get done with Christmas and quickly move on to the Sunday between and then we conclude with Mary, Mother of God/New Years. I get a few days off after all that gets done and before my students come back. I don't know why it surprises me each year but I'm already ready for the students to come back. It's just too quiet. I even spent time rearranging the student lounge because I was bored. I have work to do it's just hard to get motivated when no one's around. I NEED to get it done, however, so that I can spend time with the students when they get back or at least not be too behind the eight ball.

Here's wishing you all a happy New Year. Make a resolution but not too many, one accomplishable goal. I'm going to try to volunteer at an animal shelter.

How the family makes us holy

When we think of family in today’s society, what are some images that come to mind? If you are of a certain generation, you might think of Archie, Edith, Gloria, and Meathead from the television show “All in the Family”. Archie is the typical 1950’s urban racist with his diminutive wife, Edith, and daughter, Gloria, who dared to marry the open-minded, anti-authoritarian Michael, nicknamed “meathead” by his father-in-law, Archie because of his left-wing political stances. This image seems to permeate the meaning of 1950’s America and is used, by some, to show the weakness of the nuclear family in a time in which the nuclear family was supposed to be at it’s strongest. Today, if you look at the media’s portrayal of family life, you can see that this portrayal perdures. Many television shows portray an overbearing father who pushes his wife around making ridiculous decisions for his entire family that seem to only benefit himself.

On this Sunday the church invites us to reflect on the nature of the family through the lens of the Holy Family. This Sunday is situated in the midst of the octave of Christmas, an eight-day celebration that begins at Christmas and ends with the celebration of Mary, the Mother of God on January first. This octave is partially a reminder that Christmas can’t be a one-shot deal. Christmas is too important to last one day. I’m always thankful that we do this after, not before December 25th. It’s as though our church is saying that while the commercial version of Christmas begins after Thanksgiving and ends on Christmas day, we wait until the fervor of consumerism has died away in order to spend eight days reflecting on the spiritual meaning of Christmas. The octave also allows us to reflect on different aspects of that fateful night when God became one-with-us in order to save us. Today, we discover that Christ came as part of a family in order to give us an example of a Holy Family. I found it fascinating that the first two readings focus on the entire family but the gospel shifts to offer some time to reflect on the one person that can get short shrift during the Christmas season, Joseph. But there is something that connects all three readings and it is, I believe, the reason the church has us reflect on these three passages in particular. Each, in its own unique way, portrays an essential obligation of marriage.

The first reading from Sirach clearly paints for us the image of a family that is open to life. Parents are to be honored by children and a parent is to live honorably. It is through these familial relations, according to that first reading, that one atones for sins, has prayers heard, is blessed with children, and has a long life. Despite attempts to redefine the idea of family in our modern world, we must safeguard this image both because it mirrors the image of the Holy Family and because it is the best environment to raise children.

The second reading is another one of Paul’s attempts to help us understand love. The laundry list of proper dispositions, including “heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another…” only makes sense when cloaked with love. Otherwise, any of them could result in abuse, discouragement, or a one-sided relationship. Certainly, Paul’s closing statement, “Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord” has been abused in the past and deserves the constant paring of “Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them.” Humility, love, and subordination are all related in this statement. Paul is also telling husbands to be subordinate to their wives by telling them to love their wives.

Love and openness to children are the first two pieces to this puzzle but it concludes in the gospel with the commitment that is necessary for a family to succeed. Joseph has no reason to stay with Mary and Jesus when the angel appears. This isn’t his son biologically. This very well could be the second or third wife that Joseph has had in his life. Yet, Joseph doesn’t run away when life becomes difficult. He steps up and does what God wants him to do in order to keep his family together. This is the truly radical notion of family that we have to put forth. Far too many men believe that, when family seems to take away their masculinity or rob them of their ability to be in charge, then they can either react with force toward their wives or find a way to escape. The Christian message through Joseph is that the image of Archie Bunker, Homer Simpson, and Peter Griffin is insufficient to the type of holy family each of us should strive to have. We must build our families on commitment, on love, and on a willingness to share in the divine creativity that first brought us into this world and then brought about our salvation through Christ.

Merry Christmas

Each year, for the last ten years, Christmas has been changing. My nieces and nephews are getting older and so my siblings don't come home on Christmas day. They come home earlier or after. That means that Christmas is very quiet around the Miller home. We open a few gifts that we save until that day and then we eat a big lunch and then we just sit around and rest during the afternoon. Today we had steak fixed on a charcoal grill. It probably seems unusual but the weather was outstanding here in Iowa. The temperature was above freezing so we could scrape off some of the ice that had been sitting there since early December. It was nice to have bright sunshine on the day we celebrate the birth of the Son.

Actually, that's the amazing thing about Advent. On the weekends, we consistently had bad weather of snow and ice and made the longing for the coming of Christ very palpable. Unfortunately it continues to snow every weekend during the Christmas season which I was hoping would change but you can't change the weather.

Here's hoping you all had a very merry Christmas with family and friends and celebrated the love of God made visible.