My Dear brothers and sisters in Christ
Grace and
peace to you in God, our Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ in the power of the
Holy Spirit. When I was in seminary, Wednesday was a bit of a sacred day. We
had mass a little later in the morning so we could sleep in. We had a one-hour
conference with the rector after breakfast and then had the entire afternoon to
either get caught up on homework or visit the parishes we were assigned to work
at. You can, therefore, imagine how frustrated we were when we found out,
shortly into the first semester, that we were going to have an all-day domestic
violence awareness workshop. I remember walking into the seminar thinking that
it was going to be a waste of time on a topic that was obviously a concession
to certain feminist ideologues. However, I walked out of the seminar thankful
for what I learned. I learned, for instance, that between 97 and 92 percent of
abuse that happens domestically happens to women. It’s possible that more men
are abused than report it because of the fear of being called names but we also
know that men are generally raised in an environment where physical violence is
more acceptable than women. Regardless, I also learned that there are certain
biblical passages that are used by physically abusive husbands to control their
wives. And, we just heard one of them.
Now, before we
get to that reading, let me try to put it in the context of the rest of the
readings where, I think, it belongs. For the last four weeks, we’ve heard the
sixth chapter of John’s gospel known as the bread of life discourse. Jesus has
been teaching us about what the Eucharist is. Three weeks ago, he warned us
against grumbling and the detrimental effects that gossip and grumbling has on
the church. Then, two weeks ago, he tried to open the eyes of his hearers to a
deeper understanding of the bread, that it was also his body. St. Thomas
Aquinas explained this by using the word “transubstantiation”, which means
that, even though the smell, touch, taste and appearance remains the same of
the bread and wine, the substance has changed to become the body, blood, soul,
and divinity of Christ. Then, last week, Jesus told us that, if we are willing
to believe that the bread that we eat his really his flesh and the wine that we
drink is really his blood, than we are supposed to become what we eat. We are
to be the body of Christ on earth. That means that we need to be willing to
live out the teachings of the church, that by coming forward and saying Amen, “I
believe” we aren’t just affirming transubstantiation but a willingness to be
part of a larger organization that is the church. This is what some of Jesus’
disciples are walking away from in the gospel. It’s not just that the bread and
wine are really his body and blood but the expectation that they are supposed
to: by eating his flesh and drinking his blood, stop complaining and trust in
the church.
St. Paul gives
us just such a difficult teaching to accept today in the second reading from
his letter to the Ephesians. This is the letter, as I said before, that is used
by abusive husbands and boyfriends to keep wives and girlfriends in their
situation. And, if you were to only read the first few sentences, you would be
justified in this. In that passage we heard St. Paul say, “Wives should be
subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is head of his
wife just as Christ is head of the church…” The trouble is that St. Paul didn’t
end there. He went on to say, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved
the church…” How did Christ love the church? Every time you walk into a
Catholic Church, you will see the central symbol of how Christ loved the
church: By dying for her. In the letter to the Galatians, St. Paul said that
Christ so loved the world that he emptied himself and took the form of a slave.
You see, St. Paul used the word “love” but he may as well have said husbands be
subordinate to your wives. That’s what he meant.
Now, you may
say to me that if both the husband and the wife are subordinate to each other
than you’re going to have a rudderless ship and then the kids will run wild.
Well, I think what St. Paul was talking about was that, in any marriage
relationship you have to have compromise. And, both the husband and the wife
will probably feel like they are always the one making the compromises and this
can lead to resentment on the part of one or the other of the spouses. He’s
saying that marriage isn’t about winners and losers, it’s about mutual submission
for the sake of the larger entity that is the marriage.
One of the
things that concerns me about our present state of “tolerance” is that we have
a tendency to look at people who may be trapped in an abusive relationship and
say that they are living their lives and we are going to live our lives. If we
are connected as members of the body of Christ we have to be concerned about
each other. If you are concerned about someone who may be in an abusive
relationship, reach out to the person and offer to help get them out. Do
whatever you can to make the person feel safe, even if it is just by contacting
law enforcement and telling them of your suspicions. And, most importantly, let
us look into our own hearts for those times when we are tempted to use violence
to resolve a problem and seek ways to be subordinate to each other as Christ
was to the Church.
